You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Hello again.  Due to an unusual amount of stress on our family, I've been in a temporary hiatus from the world, but Aubrey said something today that made me instantly feel the need to sit down and vent write.

As you may or may not know, our 4 year old had surgery yesterday to remove a congenital (they think she was born with it) cataract.  It has barely been 24 hours and her improvement is so encouraging!  Before her surgery, her vision was 20/800 in her left eye (crazy, right?? 20/200 is considered legally blind, by the way).  We had no idea that she was living her life like this since it is not visual to the naked eye and this type of cataract is almost always only visible by an optometrist.  It was only by her preschool eye exam that we even had any idea she had trouble seeing.

Jesse and I were fully aware that removing it was only the first step.  She will have to retrain her new lens to communicate with her brain and we're not quite sure how long that will take.  Her Dr. is confident that she will eventually have two strong eyes and although she may need glasses or contacts her whole life (time will tell if this is true or not), will make a complete recovery.  We couldn't be more thankful, but Aubrey is having a hard time seeing it that way (go figure, she's 4).

As we were walking out of the Dr. office this afternoon, I was smiling from ear to ear.  Her vision had improved to 20/175-200 (still blind, but it had only been 24 hours)!  God had already healed our little girl tremendously and the patching that she will need doesn't seem to be very extensive-I was nothing but encouraged.  I then looked down at Aubrey and noticed she was crying.  When I asked what was wrong, she simply muttered "I just don't look as beautiful as you say I do with this shield on my eye."  My heart broke.  Jesse and I have always told her she was smart and beautiful, but this afternoon, my fear became a reality.  No matter how much her daddy and I build her up, society  is going to consistently tear her, and all young ladies for that matter, down.  But guess what? I'm stronger and more stubborn than society (I know, shocker, right?).  My little girls are going to grow up knowing this:

Even my 4 year old believes that "if I have this patch on my eye, I'll look silly."  Could you imagine, however, if every girl believed the statement above?  Aubrey doesn't watch anything besides Curious George, Dora, ect., yet SOMEwhere she has learned that "different" means inferior.  And maybe it's a curse that girls are born with-the pressure to always look "beautiful" and to keep up with the trends in hope to impress the next guy who looks their way.  Oh, but wait...a little secret?  Girls don't dress to impress guys (sorry men), they dress to impress other girls.  To be honest, I don't know what's worse. We as ladies can be so afraid of rejection that we will do whatever it takes to outshine the next.  That attitude needs to change.

Now those of you who know me may find what I'm saying ironic.  I will be the first one to admit that I enjoy fashion.  I enjoy observing trends, staying "up on the style" and for me, "shopping" is a hobby.  It may, or may not be, a running joke that my 4 year old could probably list a handful of stores at the mall. : ) Now if you think that I need all that to feel accomplished, worthy and beautiful (yes, that's what I said-now go tell yourself too), or that I look down on clothes that are not brand name or shoes that are the wrong season, you don't know me as well as you think you do.  What my little hobby DOES mean, however, is that it requires more work on my part to teach my daughters that "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a women who fears the LORD is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30).  What I guess I'm trying to say, now that my disclaimer is out there : ) , is just how important affirmation is to young minds.  Even though I enjoy putting an outfit together, it is not my staple of confidence.

Through consistent "building up" by my parents, I grew up knowing that that only voice that mattered was the one inside my head.   It is up to us as parents to teach our children, especially our daughters, that they ARE smart.  They ARE beautiful.  They ARE kind.  Dads, be prepared to date your daughters.  Show them what to expect demand from a man.  Moms, be an example of confidence!  SHOW your daughters not only how beautiful they are (inside and out), but how to love themselves or they will find someone else to "love" them.

Now look at this little girl:

Isn't she beautiful??